So I have a different setting for this post. I volunteered at Children's Camp this past week. I traded the steak house for Bridgeport Camp right off the lake. It's a funny story how I even got to go. I signed up for classes this fall, and with the timing, I was not gonna be able to afford to take the time off from work. One of my regular customers found this out, and gave me an extra big tip to help allow me to go. Funny how I make decisions and then God kinda shows me there is a way I don't know yet. So anyways, on to the post. I have volunteered at a number of different camps/mission trips. So many people see it as self sacrifice, but I really see it is a time to find myself.
Maybe I just get caught up in the rat race too much, but too often I think of the wrong things to define myself. It is in the camps/mission trips, I see myself in the kids/campers that I serve. The following is a story about a kid I will call Ronald.
On the surface Ronald appeared like most other kids at camp. It wasn't until a day into camp that I realized some simliarities between me and Ronald. One of the first things I noticed was Ronald was a little slow to get ready to leave our cabin. I like to be on time, but can adjust if need be. After waiting on Ronald again, I said something to the effect of "Ronald I'm waiting on you again, let's go!" I was trying to motivate him, but he took it personal. I felt horrible when he responded "All the other kids have sandals and crocs and I only brought shoes." I informed Ronald I understood and that I would wait on him anytime he needed me to.
On the way down the hill one time, Ronald gave a very nice compliment to one of the other boys out of the blue. It really warmed my heart to hear him speak so nicely of another kid, with no motive or intention of getting something back. He spoke what was on his mind. I then told Ronald I thought it was very nice of him to compliment our friend like that. It broke my heart when he shrugged me off and said "No, I'm not nice." I tried to explain how nice I thought he was, but found out it would take a larger effort than I thought to change his mind. Every chance I got, I tried to affirm Ronald, and let him know how nice he was acting. The truth is, he has a heart of gold!
Another incident that happen was Ronald went to tap someone on the shoulder and the kid turned so Ronald kinda slapped him. It truly was a mistake and once the other kid understood, he forgave Ronald. But it took a while longer for Ronald to forgive himself. It took the effort of multiple adults to point out that he had no reason to be so upset, and that it was a simple mistake.
I saw myself in Ronald. So many times I feel like I am the last kid in the God's cabin, sometimes complaining about the hand I have been dealt. Thankfully, He waits for me every time. I have also suffered from beating myself up at certain times in my life. Even to the point I didn't believe people's compliments, even those from my own family. Forgiving myself for things I have done as also been very tough at times for me. I believe God leads the way for me in that regard too.
By God's grace, I no longer am bound to those defeating feelings anymore. But to see those actions and beliefs in someone else, can be very enlightening. And to have an opportunity to help someone else realize their true self, is truly a Gift from God!
I tried to make a dent in some of those areas I thought Ronald could use some help. I pray that wherever he is, he knows he can grow. The truth is, I can rest easy because I know by my own experience that God cares for those who seek Him, and I know Ronald is seeking Him.
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