2010....

I have read some of my friends' thoughts and stuff about the year that is drawing to a near, and while driving home tonight, I considered what this past year has meant to me and those around me. INCREDIBLE is one word that helps to describe what I have felt. At the beginning of the year, I committed to go to Africa on a 3 week mission trip. Doubt and fear of being able to pay for the trip occupied much space in my heart and mind for many months leading up to the trip. With some astonishing generosity of close friends, family, and fellow church members, I was able to raise enough money to pay for all the expenses and take the time off work. It took 6 flights to get to and from Mozambique, which is more than I had been on in my entire life. The trip was so amazing and the perspective I gained still leads me today. The beauty of the land, the hospitality of the people, the spirit of their worship services, the incredible need of so many, and the hope that things will get better resonate with my soul. While we were there families invited us into their homes to cater a meal for us. In most cases they had saved for weeks or months to provide us with a meal that would be considered a feast in their city. I couldn't help but feel like the spoiled American, but I do know that their intention was to be respectful and hospitable. It has caused me to value breaking bread with family and friends. I have never really gone without, and would even say I have taken for granted the privilege of having warm food and good drinking water in addition to a safe place to stay and for most of my adult life a job and a car to drive wherever I have wanted. For many of my new friends I made in Africa, this has not been their lifestyle, yet I found them to be such a more hopeful and positive people. The trip to Mozambique will forever mark my worldview, and I am very seriously considering a return trip in 2011!

Enough about me, my friends and family did some incredible things this past year. One of my proudest moments came at SEEK Camp when my little sister Rachel joined me. I tried to prepare her for what was to come, but her heart was so much more prepared than I could have ever done. She jumped right in and loved every minute of it. Just thinking of all the memories SEEK Camp holds for me, and what lies ahead for her, brings tears to my eyes. I also got to hang out with Mike Wood, one of my favorite campers, out in Greenville. It was incredible to go out to eat, see a movie, and then sit down with his Grandmother as she beamed with joy as we looked at homemade scrapbooks of his teenage years. I got to see my "little brother" Michael graduate from high school. Being 9 years older than him, I can remember him as a baby, toddler, and little kid. He has grown into quite the young man. My little sister Katie has fallen madly in love with her boyfriend, and it has been heart warming to watch a young couple fall in love. ( I am still keeping one eye on Josh at all times though!) My older brother Brad is still and always will be my lifeline. Like on "Who wants to be a Millionaire?" when I need an answer, he is the first guy I call, and this past year he gave me many answers that I was needing. My parents are perhaps my biggest blessing. My mother and father have continued to show me what it means to grow in faith and transform their lives as adults. I know being a step parent is not easy, but my step mom Sheila and step dad Mike seem to know exactly what to do and say to always be there for me. I don't get to see my step brothers Josh and Chris as much as we might like, but there remains a bond from all the time we spent growing up in our teens together. And the one family member who I know will always cheer me up? My nephew Brayden, who started kindergarten this year. Stress from work or worry about bills does not even enter his radar. I know when I hang with him I can expect references to Cars, Iron Man, and Star Wars now! What an incredible family I am a part of!!! That doesn't even include ALL the extended family I got to re-connect with on Facebook too.

In looking back on 2010 I also have to look at the group of amazing friends that I shared so much time with. My roommates helped the house we rent feel like a home. Me and Ken have been friends and seen each go through our ups and downs through the years. It has been awesome to catch up with Mayan since our high school days and see his success as a baseball coach. My friends from Salt Grass, it was bittersweet to leave yall behind in November. Some of you really saw me grow up, heck yall even helped me to grow up. The frequency we hang out might be less, but I do count yall as blessings in my life. To all my friends that I go to church with, many of you directly assisted me in getting to Mozambique. I can say I could not have done it alone. Even though I went as one person, I felt like a representative of FUMC Lewisville. Seeing all the love and prayers and dedication to the new programs at church like HIS Kids and YOTO gives me energy and guidance going forward to be the hands and feet of God in this world, country, state and city that we live in. And perhaps the most crucial of my friends are in Addison, I will continue to thank God daily for the time yall take out of your lives to help me along this spiritual journey.

It was amazing to sit down and write this. To really know that I surrounded by all of these people that had such a positive effect on my life this past year is almost overwhelming. I am reminded of a post one of my high school teachers put up on Christmas...

“I am not alone at all, I thought. I was never alone at all. And that, of course, is the message of Christmas. We are never alone. Not when the night is darkest, the wind coldest, the world seemingly most indifferent. For this is still the time God chooses." Taylor Caldwell

I can remember just a few short years ago, that I did feel so alone. Thanks to all of you for showing up in my life, to assure me that I am not alone. More than this simple thanks, I hope to show up in your life and to assure you that you are not alone...SEE YOU IN 2011!!!

Seek Camp 2010

I am working on writing the whole experience of SEEK Camp (Summer Events for Exceptional Kampers) but for now I wanted to write about this most recent camp and some of the thoughts and realizations I came to. The biggest thing I have really been thinking is about us humans as souls. C.S. Lewis once wrote "You don't have a soul. You are a soul, you have a body." The different behaviors and looks of the campers set them apart from society. In camp, we come together and have the time of our lives. I have started to realize what touches me so much about camp. I often see myself in campers, and I learn how to live a fuller life from them.

For instance, there is a camper that does not like to receive applause when he is handed his award. He grows more and more afraid when he receives his award. Anytime he goes in front of a group of people he seeks to have someone go with him. Mostly he just needs a positive voice and a familiar face to assure him everything will be alright. I think back on my life when that was all I needed. A close family member to say they love me, or a best friend to support me in a lifestyle change. Many people I imagine might see this camper and be filled with compassion, perhaps pity. I see someone who needs a hand to hold. The beauty of camp is, there is always someone willing to hold his hand, and we never clap when he receives his award. It is so easy for me to see that with this camper while we are at camp. But when I get home and get to dealing with life, I know that feeling that he has all too well. For him, he covers his face out of fear. I tend to cover my fear with fake smiles and empty promises. The feeling that my greatest fear is going to become reality and I will have to face the music alone. My truth though is that I get treated much like him, my greatest fears generally don't become reality and I ALWAYS have someone by my side. Every time I see this camper get worked up, I think of how much I am like him.

Another camper is a big tough guy on the outside, but a gentle giant once you get to know him. He is quite the prankster and loves to give you quick slaps in the stomach or face. With guys he can get pretty rowdy very quickly. He loves to brag about how he is a "real man" cause he has facial hair after not shaving for a day or two. He speaks of his dream to be a cop and that he is going to save someone's life. He is a real man, because once he loves you, he loves you deep and forever. The counselors with kids will occasionally bring their little ones to visit, and this guy is the most gentle guy there is. He held a 6 month old baby by himself and you would have thought he was holding a million dollars of diamonds. He may portray a tough guy image, but he really is a teddy bear. I think of how often I like to come off as some tough and strong man, instead of just doing the loving thing. Perhaps the greatest hugs I have ever received, have been from him. Last year, I helped him clean up after going to the bathroom and he insisted I move closer to him. Inching closer I braced for a slap or a hit. Instead he grabbed me and pulled me close for a big ol bear hug. That was his way of saying thanks. This guy holds a special place in my heart, I don't know if there is anything I wouldn't do to help him.

We had a new camper this year. She was small but very loud. The moment she walked she began screaming at the top of her lungs about how excited she was for camp. Throughout the week she would break out into a chant over anything. She has a zest for life, I have not ever seen and especially heard! During the talent show, she mesmerized the crowd with a blend of the Scooby Doo intro song, some beat boxing, and sang some of Nelly's "Hot in Herre." As the week passed many people would yell the chants we had said previously, the excitement was contagious. There are times when I hear great news or get to be a part of something really special and for various reasons I don't express any zest for life. My greatest punishment is the lost time that I didn't embrace life fully and enjoy it to the max!

This is just what has been on my mind the past few hours, I have plenty more to share later...

A real strong grip...

To start, I am hoping to start posting a blog once a week in 2010...

This post was real neat the way it came about. I remember meeting Grady Aron for the first time like 5 or 6 years ago. I was waiting tables and Grady and Bob Rheudasil were taking Pastor John Mollet out to eat. It was just announced he was re-assigned to another church, so this was there good-bye lunch with him. When they walked into the restaurant I happen to be up front and Pastor Mollet recognized and me and introduced me to the Bob and Grady.

From the very first time I met Grady, there was one thing I could count on. A good solid handshake. At first I thought it might be a test of manhood. He was an elderly man, and I was a young man. I thought maybe he wanted to see what kind of handshake I would offer. I met his intensity. I was new to the church and would later get to know Mr. Rheudasil and Mr. Aron. During the meal, Mr. Rheudasil was informed that my mother had re-designed the area now known as Soul Cafe. It was dedicated to his late wife. He pulled me aside, almost tearing up, he spoke so highly of how nice a job my mom had done and how much he felt that his wife would be proud.

Back to Mr. Aron, over the years I enjoyed the firm and long handshakes. It became a highlight to sunday mornings. As we would shake hands we would talk about current events, the whole entire time he would be squeezing the heck out of my hand. My family would look as I would try not to grimace. One sunday, Mr. Aron even got up and spoke during church. This is fairly unusual in my church, being that we are Methodists. I remember parts of what he shared. He talked about the various locations of FUMC Lewisville. He had been a member for decades. It was very moving to hear him talk about his regrets. His speech slowed and became almost emotional as he shared how he wished he had been more involved. To step up in front of the church at that age and as respected as he was and admit, it really hit home. Somewhere along the line, the grip that Grady shared through the handshakes moved from just hands to my heart. I really grew fond of seeing him.

Over the past couple of year, Grady's health slowly grew worse. He was moved back and forth between a nursing home and assisted living facility. I made a few attempts to visit him, but every time I would go to one place he would be at the other. Grady passed away this past week.

Here is the real neat twist. I went into work tonight and my first table had an elderly gentleman. It turns out it was his 50th Wedding Anniversary. As I congratulated him on this milestone, he reached his hand out for a handshake. I oblgied as his daughter began to cringe, and he gave me a strong handshake. I immediately grinned and enjoyed it thoroughly. His daughter apologized and begged him to stop. I shrugged her off and assured her it was ok. After a few more stiff handshakes, I asked this gentleman any wisdom from his 50 years of marriage. His words, "Stay single."

It is amazing to me that something as simple as a handshake can leave such an impression on people. To think of how many people we shake hands with on a daily basis shows the number of people we could connect with, if we really put some effort into it. So if I ever give you a good hard handshake, I hope you can understand why....